Purest Of Love

2009-04-19T16:59:00.011+08:00

V3 / Sabai Sabai

Narcissus / Zolid 99 / Bangkok

Zouk

46SAR POP

Finally decided to blog. Nothing to do at home right now. Going back to camp in few hours time.

Movies with Kailing, Yongren & Kelvin yesterday. "Handsome Suit", very nice and funny show. In love with the female lead so pretty.

Thai discos every weekends. Drink and drink~

2009-01-31T15:37:00.002+08:00

Argh my blog had rot. NS really tied up my freedom. Seriously don't know what to blog either. 5days in camp & only 2days at home. Nothing much to blog about. Book outs meet up my lovely friends to drink, billards, lan & movies. Sometimes don't even had places to go. Time really flys and i'm enlisted for almost 2 months already. 1 more month to POP and have more slight freedom rather than life now :( Hair can finally grow longer by a few more cm.

Chinese New Year has been the same these few years. Going to relatives house, eating nice food and snacks. Ang Bao money about the same compared to last year's. Trying to save them up as well as my NS allowance for my car practical lessons & down payment. Hopefully to get my car by June!

2009-01-03T12:25:00.002+08:00

Another 365 days had just passed. 2008 is a fast year. It's not a very good year for me.
I've reflected on what i've done in 2008.

Alot of time & money wasted on pubbing. Slacking at home made things worst, wasting my precious time not finding a job & getting my car license.

NS made me changed into a different person mentality as well as physically. It changed me to be more independent and how precious time is. It also push your limits and endurance.

For the arrival of 2009, i'm gonna make changes to my life and spend my time well.
Hopefully getting my car by mid June if possible.

Photos will be uploaded after Kailing send me.

Lastly HAPPY 2009 TO ALL!

2008-12-28T16:56:00.001+08:00

Booking in today, so fast and bored. But gonna be out on wednesday again!
Take cares people.

2008-12-26T14:35:00.006+08:00

These are the people i missed most during camp!

1st Book out on 24th December! Merry Christmas!

2008-11-26T07:01:00.014+08:00

Went to Zoo few days ago and it's was sooooooooo fun! Too bad it rains when about to reach 5. Pictures shall do the talking!

3 of us!

Animals!

Off we go at 6.

2008-11-20T07:03:00.003+08:00

If given a chance.. what are the words that you would want to say to someone?

I've been asking myself this question recently.

I’ve been waiting for the chance to tell that someone that I liked her.

I realise i didn't have the courage to utter anything, and she knew nothing.

She told me those guys that phrased to her and claimed that they liked her had been rejected and stop contacting her. I kept it all quiet because i might be next if I voiced out liking her? No one likes the feeling of being rejected right? Nor I want to get drifted further from her. So, I thought continue going on like this might be better.

She knew my daily routine of life. Yes she told me, "You're always the same lei, keep sing and drink sing and drink!" I could only say, "No loh, i go find frens and wait frens finish work ma." She would turn me away by saying "Bye. Go enjoy."

I would wake up the next day with a sweetest "Goodmorning!" or a "Goodnights!" while i sleep. How could I've not treasure all this care and concern? And continue wasting the rest of my time sleeping, slacking, singing and drinking.

As I'm looking back at the past sms to the lastest, I found out that our conversations became lesser. All was normal work stuffs, where's her destination after work etc.. Apart from that, her care and concern was never reduced. However, I felt more.

Sometimes, chatting on phone or texting with her, the love and care that I felt I could only tell myself that it was friendship. She's just treating me as a very good buddy and I dare not think much. As we getting more and more closer (through only phone or MSN), I realised the chance of telling her that i loved her diminished.

If given a chance.. what are the words that you would want to say to her?

I would tell her "I love her."

To her..

Using only my 5 fingers, I could count how many times had we came out. I dared not asked you out because the last time I came out with you was quite screwed as I've got no plans where to go after we went to watch fireworks. I'm someone that has been fighting with boredom daily and thinking of places to go. If I were to meet you out, what plans can I have? I don't want you to be bored. Nor I want you to feel bored when meeting me out. Til now I realise, I'm really dumb. I had never thought back that, if you felt that going out with me is bored, why would you still meet me for the 2nd, the 3rd time?

Til the day you mia for 2 days, I realised how important you were to me. These 2 days were also two of my closeties birthday. I got alot of sms from people digging me to go out early and I've been looking at my phone every minute. Hoping that the contact picture of yours that you took with my phone would appear with your sms. I'm really worry, really afraid that things might happen to you and cursed myself for those negative thoughts later on. I asked ChunLeng to check if you were on MSN but you doesn't.

The next day, he called me. He said you were online and I ask him to talk and asked what had happen to you. And you told him about you and your ex patching up, don't know how to face me etc. I'd already been guessing about it, but the news still got me blank for a moment. So I decided to text you and tell you how I feel, and everything in my heart.

You've asked me to be happier than before and hope that i'll find my happiness. What does that suppose to mean? I finally got my answer. Aren't you my happiness? I already found my happiness. My happiness is, when you got your happiness. I'd be happy when you are. If you are not, then I would try my best to make you smile.

Remember you asked me where do you stand? And i said it was friendship. I said it's friendship because I don't want things to get complicated. It's Love. Simply love that made me think of you 2 hours ago, now, and 2 hours later.

Afterall i'm fine, sorry for those that worry. Now you 2 are back together, all i can do is pray for you happiness! And it would be my happiness too(:

2008-11-18T04:49:00.002+08:00

yes finally i found you back, but it wasn't some good news or maybe i could force myself to say that it was a good news. My goodluck the few days before was something really powerful and you two really got back together. What can i do? i could only clench my teeth hard and continue singing like everyone else in the room not letting my tears flow out. Once i reached home, i really don't know what exactly happen that made my pillow cover filled with salty tears. I really don't want it to happen. But i was really uncontrolable. How did Psyche ever get to my blog? It would be only someone that really understands me that well. To Psyche, i really fine. Don't worry about me. And i know who you are. To that someone or "Psyche", i pray for the long lasting relationship that both you had. Don't ever let history repeat again. Friends around me, always know i'm a strong and positive person. I'd never flow my tears infront of them. Even my best bud's or brothers. Until today, i really can't stand it anymore and let some of them worry about me. Don't worry about me alright? No matter what i'd always be myself. My smile and laughter will always be there...

2008-11-16T05:55:00.002+08:00

i wondered where are you, how've you been and what're you doing. I'm missing you. Missing you every minutes hoping that whenever my phone rangs it'd be you. But it isn't. I've finally felt the pain of heartaches again. Where are you! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I'm really worried. Please don't make me worry. I really do missed... Tell me what to do!

2008-11-12T07:11:00.004+08:00

You have known her for a long time. You know all about her, her ex-boyfriends.

You are her number one buddy, someone whom she would share everything with you. Her darkest secrets, and all the moments that she cried you would be there for her.

Was it purely friendship? That made you woke up in the middle of the night just because she wanted someone to talk to after a tussle with her boyfriend.

How ironic, as it took you a long time to realize she’s actually the one you are looking for after all these years.

You waited and waited, until she is finally single.

But you don't have the courage to tell her, the feeling that was hiding deep inside you. You afraid that when you tell her about your feelings one day, she would tell you she is tired about having another relationship. She thinks you are a nice person, someone who can take care of her. Unfortunately you weren’t someone in the mold of her dream.

The long road is almost unbearable. The world never seems to stop turning, time never seems to take notice on someone who’s struggling through life.

You might have the feeling not to care for anyone else again, for you knows no matter how much you cared , no one will be there for you, as you head towards the infinite sadness of life…... Towards the path of infinite sadness and mental destruction of life .

So i ever tried asking myself, was it purely friendship? I don't know. I didn't even manage myself to meet her out often. I could only express my care and concern via sms or through phone. I wondered where i'm placed in her heart, or maybe not at all. When she told me about him, my heart can only aches and listen...

This is love or friendship, i didn't manage to find the answer yet...

2008-11-11T17:25:00.005+08:00

Prawning is soooooo fun!

2008-11-09T03:46:00.008+08:00

Okays, my body is getting weaker and weaker.

Sickness bypass here and there once every 2-3weeks.
Few years back earlier, i got inflicted by sickness once occasionally only.

Maybe due to insufficient rest or staying out absorbing germs from outside.

My private family doctor gave me 2 big packets of Anti-biotics and fever/headache pills.

Guess i had to finish them before i could get my voice and energy back.

My family doctor look like this guy at the picture below :x

Nothing's fun these passed days. Sunplaza/Hilltop slacking with Derick, Colin, Minyi, Chunleng. Same activities going on becoming a habbit rather than places of enjoyment.

Sometimes i wish there's someone to keep me companied, to stroll round the beach or something. laughs.

Just some wild thinking because i could go and stroll in the forest with my rifle in a month time :x

Anyway some photos to share when we went to visit Renata at her work place few days ago.

Enjoy, bye!

look at this cute hamster lying on another one!

2008-11-06T06:59:00.000+08:00

Yes, and i'm back for blogging since life is getting too boring, and NS enlisment date is so close.

I've like 37 days more to be accompanied by freedom. Then finally with rifles, fields, sun, trainings, new unfamiliar faces and environment. People and places that i've never seen would be a new beginning. Got to part with friends and family although it's only 2weeks yet seems being 2months away. Gonna get use to sleeping early at 10 and wake at 5 very soon. To my friends out there enjoying when i'm enlisted, please never forget to call me out when i've booked out. hahas. okays get off with these, some photo's taken during my birthday! Greatly pleased for such great celebrations all my loves.

And lastly thanks AhJin for bursting my balloon.

2008-11-06T04:50:00.001+08:00

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